LIVING
In today’s fast-paced world, the kitchen seems to be losing its central place in many homes, as more parents, especially mothers, choose to buy prepared meals rather than cook at home. This trend, once common only in large cities like Abuja, is now becoming increasingly noticeable in Jos and other parts of Nigeria. FRANCISCA ADIDI examines the reasons behind this shift, its impact on family life and why home cooking still matters for health, tradition and family bonding
A changing culture of home cooking
There is a saying that “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach,” which underscores how much men value not only care but also good food. Many men expect to return home to well-prepared meals and often wish to be treated like kings in their homes.
Yet, today, many young women prefer buying food or contracting caterers rather than cooking at home. While this practice works for some couples, it has raised concerns among traditionalists and created conflicts in others. These questions now arise: What has happened to women’s cooking skills? Is it more economical to cook at home or to buy meals? And are some spouses unaware—or simply accepting—of this shift in household roles?
Social, economic and personal factors drive this change. Some point to modern lifestyles, economic pressures or the lack of support from husbands who may not provide cooking ingredients. Others note that convenience and time-saving benefits make buying or contracting others to cook an attractive option, even if home-cooked meals are generally considered healthier.
Reasons parents opt for purchased meals
Time constraints are frequently cited as a primary reason for this trend. Madam Hannatu Adams explained: “It is lack of time to prepare other foods for the family that has given me other options. Long working hours, including inflexible schedules, and children’s activities that demand my attention have all contributed to a time crunch on weekdays. That is why making quick meals has become necessary for me. And my husband understands the stress I go through.”
For others, it is simply the inability to cook. Mama Beulah admitted: “I really don’t know how to cook good soup, and my husband likes ‘swallow,’ especially Semovita. I can only manage to cook rice. Growing up in my parents’ house, we had people cooking for us and doing all the house chores. So, I assumed I would do the same in my husband’s house. Unfortunately, my husband wants me to cook for him, and it is a problem for me. That is why I contract the cooking of my soup and other foods just for peace to reign in my house.”
Mrs Yakubu of Rangarasa, Rantya, Jos South LGA, considers buying or contracting out the cooking of food a huge relief. “I thank God that he [my husband] is not complaining. I and my family only go out to eat on selected occasions like birthdays, our anniversary, or on an invitation from a family friend. I cook good food for my family because my husband doesn’t like eating outside. He avoids spices that might upset his stomach,” she explained.
Mrs Rachael John of State Lowcost, Rantya, Jos South LGA, confirmed that her family’s preferences also influence her decisions. “I buy Masa mostly for my children to take to school and for my husband sometimes, because they like it. It also provides a change from eating too much bread every day. It saves me time to prepare children for school and avoid them being late.”
Conversely, some women remain committed to home cooking. Mrs Sallah Kate shared her own experience: “I grew up seeing my mother always prepare food at home. I wake up as early as 4 a.m. to start cooking and get my children ready so that by 5:30 a.m., they can take their bath and, before 7 a.m., we are in school. It is more economical because money spent buying food would have been used for ingredients for better home-cooked meals.
“Even though my husband doesn’t mind eating either home food or bought food, I prefer cooking to avoid food poisoning because some foods might not be properly prepared due to high demand and rush.”
Conflicts, challenges
Some men, however, experience difficulty with this trend. Mr Peter Mangu complained bitterly: “My wife takes her time to cook, and so I hardly eat at home. I leave home without breakfast, eat lunch in the office, and dinner is prepared very late. I have been complaining about this attitude but to no avail. Sometimes I enter the kitchen and cook the meal of my choice. This is how women of our present-day world have become. And society frowns at men beating their wives… if not…!”
Another husband, who asked not to be named, explained: “My wife’s inability to cook makes me eat outside most of the time. I only manage to eat at home occasionally. I even took time to teach her how to prepare some meals, and I asked her to learn how to cook special dishes so that she will not be embarrassed when we visit my people in the village, but to no avail.”
Mrs Becky Gabriel (not her real name) shared her ordeal: “I grew up in a well-to-do family with house helps doing every household chore, which meant I did not learn how to cook. Before I realized it, I was about to marry. My husband knows this part of me, but it was not a problem for him. To manage, we have some young relatives staying with us who do most of the cooking and house chores. But we mostly eat outside while the children eat at home.”
Madam Tessy Reheh noted that work pressure and business demands make it difficult to cook: “I spend most of my time at work and in the shop with my children. I eat mostly food that I contract someone to prepare because I cannot cook when we get home. I can only warm it and serve my husband.”
Why home-cooked meals remain important
Experts emphasise that psychological, sensory, social and practical factors make home-cooked meals more cherished than food from restaurants or external sources. Repeated exposure to familiar home recipes enhances pleasure through learned associations, such as comfort, safety and nostalgia. Familiar smells and flavours also trigger reward circuits more consistently than novel foods.
Furthermore, home-cooked meals allow control of textures, seasoning and doneness to suit personal taste. Meals prepared by family members carry emotional value, such as childhood memories, rituals and cultural identity. Experts also say that food cooked by someone else for you communicates care and social bonding. That social reward overlays the sensory experience and increases liking.
Predictability of outcomes also reduces anxiety and cognitive effort. Home cooks can tailor ingredients to dietary needs, intolerances or moral preferences, thus improving satisfaction. Chef Suzzy explained: “Home-cooked food engages associative processes in the brain. Preparing a meal yourself makes it personal. Even mistakes become interesting because they reflect how you felt while cooking.”
Mama Bridget, a food expert, added: “Everything blends. If I don’t do well at making a certain kind of soup, the emotional and physical experiences I have while making or eating it are compiled into a mental list of memories.”
Home cooking often uses fresher ingredients, less industrial processing and gentler fats or sodium levels, which are easier on digestion and promote wellbeing. People raised on traditional food often prefer home-prepared meals due to comfort, texture and nostalgia.
Male spouses frequently raise concerns that young women today are not interested in cooking or lack the skills, which pushes men to eat outside or arrive home late due to poor or absent meals. Women are, therefore, advised to rethink this trend, while mothers should teach their daughters cooking skills to avoid over-reliance on purchased food