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Why some marriages are not working

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It is very necessary to remind ourselves amidst challenges couples are experiencing these days in homes braking that marriage is a lifelong union between a man and a woman who have agreed to share their lives together in holy matrimony. Exchange of marital vows between couples is a point of deep affection that one would hardly think anything can ever go wrong. The rampant cases of marriage break up these days leaves one wondering whether marriage is compulsory for everyone. Since it has never been said anywhere that staying single is an offence, why then the stress? JENNIFER YARIMA, writes.

 

ONE has been overburdened with reported cases of several mishaps surrounding families. It’s regrettable that so many homes have been turned into theatre of war these days, leaving various degrees of injuries and permanent deformation in worst case scenario on victims. It’s worrisome that at every slightest provocation; most people are hard bend on taking actions against the other instead of giving peace a chance. The restlessness is not restricted to any particular ago bracket, the young and elderly are sometimes culpable.

With every sense of responsibility, the foundation of most relationships were faulty in the sense that certain things that needed to have been put into consideration before marriage were probably neglected which has given rise to ugly incidences we are witnessing nowadays. Investigations have shown that very many couples jumped into marriage for various reasons best understood by them.

Some went into such relationships with high material expectations from their partners. When the partner is not meeting up these expectations,  the tendency to break up is high. Others are distrust among them, giving room for lots of suspicion. Some couples rushed to marry without quality time of courtship which should have given them opportunity to study themselves better.

Some couples’ decisions are mostly influenced by parents who decide the direction of such a union. The common one usually expressed is that love is blind; as such, it could not allow objective or wise decision to be taken. For a few others, they were carried away by the outward beauty of the lady or man and also the rich family background of either of them. Whatever reasons that are postulated don’t have any ground.

Recently, yours sincerely had a chat with a woman named Hannatu Bala, 41 years and a mother of four whose husband attempted to kill her for reasons best known to him. She is Irigwe by tribe from Bassa Local Government Area of Plateau State, whose family resides at Kampala, Rukuba road; Jos. She had been married to Bala  Tibe, a retired Naval officer and currently works with Excellent Kiddies Academy at Rukuba road in Jos, since 2010.

The survivor said, the ill-fated incident happened on the 20th of September 2021 when she noticed several calls from her husband while she was in the church and wondered whether something had happened in her absence. According to her, she immediately left the church and went straight home. As soon as she arrived, she asked if there was any problem. She asked whether he was hungry and needed to take tea, he replied that he wouldn’t, but she went further and bought the stuff and made tea which he couldn’t take. The wife asked if he preferred yam, he didn’t give her any positive response.

While she was busy petting this man, he bluntly told her that her end had come, not knowing that he had hidden a knife behind him.  He then drove the children outside except for Dorcas, the eldest of her children, he locked the door and threatened the two of them with the weapon he had. The man according to her said he would see if Jesus or any other person would come to her rescue. In as much as she kept pleading, it felt on deaf ears and within the twinkle of an eye, he stabbed her around the stomach twice then several others on her back and her hands and she felt on the ground.

“I saw blood gushing out and my intestines were outside, as if that was not enough, he headed towards my daughter and struck her with the knife, on her hand. When I noticed that he was determined to kill, I struggled and got up to rescue my daughter”.  As she got hold of the knife she was left with additional cuts on her fingers before the daughter could force the door open and screamed for help.

“When I rushed out, he followed me this time with a machete which I escaped narrowly so I could access medical attention. The next thing I knew was to find myself in the hospital”. As if that was not enough, the man set part of their house ablaze, burning cushions and mattresses in the room which she claimed to have bought with her money. He later picked her handset and threw it in the fire. Shamelessly, he used the same weapon of destruction to inflict injury on himself under the pretence that his wife also did same to him. Good enough, he later confessed to have committed the crime himself.

A close relation who was a care giver at the hospital, Mrs Ruth Ikre disclosed to Nigeria Association of Women Journalists (NAWOJ) Plateau State Chapter that the bill at Bingham University Teaching Hospital (BUTH), Jos, where she was admitted accumulated to over four hundred thousand naira because her pancreas was affected which warranted a major surgery. She was discharged from the hospital on the 2nd October this year  and is currently nursing the injuries that have not been completely healed.

Unconfirmed reports had it that prior to the incident; the man had told some people around their neighborhood that something tragic would happen in his house very soon but no one took him serious.

A telephone call across to Police Public Relations Officer (PPRO) in the state indicated that the Police have not been adequately informed of the matter as at the time of writing this story but will wait to be briefed to enable them take necessary action. Can such a rude less behavior be swept under the carpet? The survivor is appealing for justice from appropriate authorities as she delayed reporting the matter to enable her regain her strength. Should such people be allowed to walk as free men on our streets? The law should take its course.

One is tempted to say that this man has a form of mental illness that needs to be addressed to avoid further calamity.

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