ON Dec 19 2011 ,the United Nations general assembly adopted resolution to declare Oct 11 as the day of the girl child to recognize girls rights and the unique challenges girls face .

Commemoration of the day is a call to radical social and political change to free the girl child from discrimination and prejudice that affect her socially and psychologically.

This year’s theme is tagged “My voice our Equal future” with emphasis on the need to be inspired by what adolescent girls see as they change their wants, their solutions big and small that are leading and demanding across the world.

The celebration is geared towards reminding the world of the girl child’s plight and to work towards abolishing all kinds of injustice meted against them.

This is aimed at addressing the challenges of girls by training ,educating, and empowering,access to good health services, fight against early marriage and having her total right in the society she belongs to.

The values and aims of the campaign is to achieve a live free from gender based violence, empowerment through skills acquisition for a better future and the desire to lead a generation by activating social change.

Is a fact that empowering the girl child and giving her equal opportunity like her male counterpart is critical to the economic, socio-political growth of any nation.

Parenting:

Are you a teaching or a talking parent?

By ANNA BRINK

WE had just arrived at the ball fields and dropped off my 10-year-old son. As we parked and began to unload chairs, he came running back to the van, close to tears, saying, “I forgot my hat! I’m not allowed to play without it!” Every game after that, guess who packed the baseball bag. Yep, me.

I knew he needed to learn responsibility, but sometimes allowing children to fail is scary because the consequences feel too big for them to handle. If you worry that you might be doing too much for your kids, or you are just plain exhausted, ask yourself: Am I a “Teaching Parent” or a “Taking Parent?” Here’s the difference.

The Teaching Parent

If you’re a teaching parent, you show your children how to do things and let them try by themselves. You watch them struggle through it, even allowing them to fail because you understand this is a marathon, not a sprint. You accept that the job might not be as good as you would do it, but your main goal is their independence, not perfection.

The Teaching Parent says, “I can help you make a list of everything you need for school, and it’ll be right here on the fridge.”

The Taking Parent

If you’re this kind of parent, you take the job and do it yourself because it is easier and faster, or because you want it done right. Sometimes you take it because failing doesn’t seem like an option. Failing is embarrassing, painful, and comes with consequences.

The Taking Parent takes the school bag, empties all the folders, puts the homework in the right place, and calls out, “Your backpack is ready!”

I naturally lean toward the Taking Parent without even realizing it. I do teach my kids certain skills, but most of the time, I’m taking things because I want quick success in the moment.

But long-term independence is so much better than short-term success. So if you are with me—if you want to become a Teaching Parent with your eyes on the long-term goal—here are 3 things we must be ready for.

Resistance and Struggle

Sometimes, kids are eager to learn. But other times, they are very content with you doing it for them. I mean, why would I want to learn to do my own laundry if someone else has been doing it for me? So expect resistance at first. Also expect some struggle as the learning process unfolds. It’s going to be hard. Remember: That’s good! As our kids struggle, they get stronger and smarter.

Teaching and Re-teaching

The first time you teach your children how to fold socks, it’s kind-of fun. The tenth time? Not so much. But have faith—they may need more examples. Watch them do it to see where they are getting stuck or ask your husband to show them in a different way. They may also be testing you to see if you’re really giving this task over or not. Stay the course and resist the urge to jump in and fix things.

Praise and Celebration!

Get ready to praise, praise, praise! Celebrate even the effort of trying and failing. Celebrate your children getting it partially right. Be gracious if the job is not perfect. Let those little crumbs just exist there on the freshly-Windexed table. And when your children improve, celebrate again. Tell them how proud you are that they are growing up in this way.

Why the secrets you keep Are hurting you

Living

IT hurts to keep secrets. Secrecy is associated with lower well-being, worse health, and less satisfying relationships. Research has linked secrecy to increased anxiety, depression, symptoms of poor health, and even the more rapid progression of disease. There is a seemingly obvious explanation for these harms: Hiding secrets is hard work. You have to watch what you say. If asked about something related to the secret, you must be careful not to slip up. This could require evasion or even deception. Constant vigilance and concealment can be exhausting.

New research, however, suggests that the harm of secrets doesn’t really come from the hiding after all. The real problem with keeping a secret is not that you have to hide it, but that you have to live with it, and think about it.

The concept of secrecy might evoke an image of two people in conversation, with one person actively concealing from the other. Yet, such concealment is actually uncommon. It is far more common to ruminate on our secrets. It is our tendency to mind-wander to our secrets that seems most harmful to well-being. Simply thinking about a secret can make us feel inauthentic. Having a secret return to mind, time and time again, can be tiring. When we think of a secret, it can make us feel isolated and alone.

To better understand the harms of secrecy, my colleagues and I first set out to understand what secrets people keep, and how often they keep them. We found that 97 percent of people have at least one secret at any given moment, and people have, on average, 13 secrets. A survey of more than 5,000 people found that common secrets include preferences, desires, issues surrounding relationships and sex, cheating, infidelity and violations of others’ trust.

Across several studies, we asked participants to estimate how frequently they concealed their secret during conversations with others, and also how frequently they thought about the secret outside of social interactions.  Frequently people simply thought about their secrets, the lower their well-being. The frequency of active concealment when interacting with others, however, had no relationship to well-being.

Turning the question around, we examined the consequences of confiding