By YVONNE ISHOLA

ONE of the commonest problems in most families is siblings rivalry. It manifests in a variety of ways. In the formative years, parents often overlook or laugh off their children’s expressions of jealousy. A friend once shared how her eldest son was caught in the act of giving his one week old younger sibling some swipes of cane. In this case, it was 3 broomsticks. The baby’s high pitched cry was what alerted the mother.

It could have been worst. When asked why he hated his brother so, the 2-year-old said since the mother brought back her baby from the hospital, she had given him little or no attention.

The above example may sound hilarious but could lead to serious issues when not addressed the best way. If not now, in the future.

Parents preference of a child over the other or others has served to bring out the worst in the rejected or unloved child. The worst-case scenario is when it breeds enmity between siblings. A good example is the biblical story of Jacob and Esau, Isaac’s famous twins. In their case, the father preferred Esau (because he was an outdoor man and often brought him the game). The mother on the other hand preferred Jacob for the simple fact that he was an indoor man. With the help of his mother, Jacob stole his brother’s blessings from their father. That was the last straw on the camel’s back. The battle line was drawn.

Esau began seeking revenge. That began a long feud. These twins became sworn enemies who continued fighting all through the pages of the Bible.

The above parents fuelled their children’s fight then sat by and watched as they tore each other to pieces. At this point in time, there was nothing they could do to correct their interference with God’s plans. It was just God’s faithfulness that prevailed.

A middle– aged man was lamenting recently that his mother has labelled him the black sheep of the family. Any time any thing goes wrong in the family especially with his siblings, she blames it on him. She claims he has run down the family business. This has turned his siblings against him. She warned his elder brother from associating with him if he didn’t want to be a drunk. The irony is that he learnt to drink alcoholic drinks through his brother. The man is so bitter and says he misses his dad who is late.

On a lighter note. A man visited a house and asked for the eldest. One of the family members asked if he was looking for the most respected because of his wealth or the eldest in age.

The above anecdote is the reality in most families where  parents will dethrone the eldest because he is financially  poor and has no social standing. At meetings, his voice will not carry weight because everyone will always agree with the one who has financial backing. His decision is final. In no time, the eldest would begin to feel unloved and disrespected. This can easily breed disaffection between the eldest and the rich and favourite son.

An embittered lady once disclosed how she was made by her mother to prepare peppered meat for her married younger sister. She did it joyfully, only for her mother to begin ordering her around to serve her younger sister while her sister was treated like royalty. All because she is married to a wealthy man. At the end of the day, she cleaned up after her younger sister and ended up eating the wings out of the whole chicken she prepared.

In some families, it is the brilliant children that are given preferential treatment. Gifted children are disregarded or treated as dull. This has killed the passion of some gifted children. One of the major reasons why it is said the grave is the richest place on earth because of the many people that die without putting their talents to constructive uses.

Parents have become so materialistic that it is he who pays the piper that dictates the tune. They have thrown morality to the winds and careless whose horse is gored as they look out for their interest.

The word of God says ‘wisdom is profitable to direct’. Every parent needs wisdom in handling the home front and the children or we would end up bringing up enemies instead of brothers and sisters.

Encouraging continuity in governance

By JIDAUNA DARING

IN a democratic system of government, it is believed that continuity should be the norm in what has been inherited from a predecessor by the successors of any given administration at different levels of governments, but unfortunately in Nigeria the reverse is the case.

It is quite unfortunate to say that, what is presently obtained in governance is the abandonment of predecessor’s initiatives at all levels whether the predecessor and successors are from the same party or not. This precarious and unfortunate scenerios has become the bane of our leaders. These is no gain saying that this is at the detriment of the people and society.

In fact, when elections are over , it is expected that the hand of the clock should be directly pointed on how the journey of governance should begin because, the eyes of the people are on persons who seat on the driver’s seat as a leaders.

Therefore, the quest for Nigerian leaders to imbibe the culture of continuity in governance cannot be overemphasized, since it is geared towards ensuring that completion of whatever unfinished projects that have been embarked upon by the predecessors at any given administration are needed.

Therefore, continuity in governance should be encouraged amongst those that come on board as successors regardless of whatever plans they may have for the people.

To further promote continuity, our successors should as a matter of concern develop positive attitude when it comes to giving attention to whatever, inherited projects of their predecessors. This, if put in cognizance, would no doubt go a long way to give people more sense of fulfillment or belonging as they will always have projects that could have been abandoned but completed by their successors.

What is more important to note is that, good leadership produces good governance which can translate into practical development. Therefore, good leaders must seek to produce good results or viable legacies through continuity in governance.

In fact, one of the tragic mistakes that are sometimes made by some political leaders is that, they promise much more than they can deliver to the people. This has led to a huge credibility gap between our leaders and the electorate because the people’s expectations are often higher whenever there is new leadership  at different level.

What seems to be more worrisome when it comes to continuity, is the increasing cases of unnecessary termination of inherited projects by some past successors at different levels of representations without considering the volume of resources that were committed into such unfinished projects as the case may be.

It is also glaring that this unfortunate practice as observed amongst some of our leaders over the years have contributed negatively to the abandonment of many projects that if completed could have significantly bought about  more development to the people. What is equally disturbing in this regard, is the fact that some of these important projects have become an eye-sore to the people who ought a have enjoyed such projects.

It is never a crime in for successors to  complete any inherited projects from the predecessors whether big or small as far as such projects have direct bearing on the lives of the people. It will do Nigerians more good if our successors at different levels of representations will be given the needed priority for continuity in governance.

Worthy of mote in this regard is the fact that, the amiable and pragmatic leader of the ‘Time is Now Governor,’ Caleb M. Mutfwang of Plateau State, has made it clear to all and sundry in Plateau that, his administration revisiting some of the unfinished projects started by the immediate past government. This is the spirit that our leaders are supposed to imbibe at different levels of representations so that our beloved state can be transformed to a land of milk and honey in all its ramification.

With this good leadership style, it now behooves on all citizens of Plateau State to rally round “the captain of the Time is Now” with good support so that the already imbibed spirit of continuity  in the end yields good dividends of democracy to the people of different sectors.

This can also be achieved when people put aside their political tribes and religious differences. When these things are addressed, the sky will always be the limit of any given leader on board.